Antermony Loch

Thursday, 13 March 2014

The Urban Fly Fisher Loses His Cherry

So its been a rubbish winter. England got gubbed at the cricket by the Aussies, Man U have been getting gubbed at the football and I've been getting gubbed at work. Fewer resources and more calls does not a happy Marki maketh.  On the plus side however, I did have two and a half weeks in Thailand, albeit I was trampled by and elephant, all in the name of fun ( apparently).

Sunrise, Achalong Bay, Phuket.
Don't ask. It's a long story involving a 45 year old female elephant called Melody.  Needless to say I lived and I will tell the tale when I dig the pictures out of Mrs C's Ipad.  
Champers on Emirates

We did sample how the other half live though. We flew business class courtesy of Mrs C's air miles. Well, it's yer duty isn't it. Personally, I don't know what all the fuss is about really;  I mean, fine dining at 50,000 feet is the same as fine dining at 1 foot, but a lot more expensive. But I'm not one for looking a gift horse in the mouth So gratefully accepted the opportunity. In the end I missed most of it as I fell asleep after my second cognac lol.

This winter also forced me to shell out for a new car.  My trusty 7 year old Hyundai Tucson finally gave up the ghost. 

Chevrolet Captiva 2.2 Diesle Turbo
Its a beast of a car and my pride and joy now. It has all the toys and plenty of room to transport my chums and their gear in relative comfort and, suprisingly, has an mpg that wont break the bank of Mrs C.

And then last night I was lucky enough to scoop up 25 quids worth of Glasgow Angling Centre gift vouchers in our club's raffle at our annual prize giving night. Not sure what I'll put them towards but I'm sure I'll think of something. 

Antermony Fishing Club Scotland
Club Champion Malcolm Miller
I really do enjoy these nights, not least because they provide a chance to renew friendships and to catch up and slag, erm I mean banter with those who have been skilled enough to win silverware. Well done to Malcolm Miller for winning the Caurnie Angling Club Championship. A worthy champion and thoroughly nice guy too. "Aye you can beat a good angler, but you cannae beat a jammy one". a member (Brian) was heard to say. Nevertheless a richly deserved championship Malcolm and we look forward to you defending it in the coming season.

I also enjoy these nights because you never know who you might bump into and last night was no exception. I met for the first time Alistair (no names or photographs here). Alistair is a fellow blogger.  Indeed some would say he is the alpha and omega of all fly fishing blogs. He is the author of the first and longest running fly fishing blog in the world. He is of course The Urban Fly Fisher and I would encourage you to visit his site if you haven't already done so. 

I caught up with Alistair during a break in proceedings on the way to the bar where he made admissions to me about being a virgin and that he was well and truly going to lose his cherry shortly.  Mmmmmmm not sure about this guy I thought. Might have to put myself back on duty here. So over the next half hour or so I surveilled him. Now, he was a bit nervy at first. Well, who wouldn't be. It was afterall his first time and he was going to do it in front of a set of reprobates aka The Campsie Campers. So, yea its true to say he was a bit ropey to begin with. but as he got going he warmed up and with his partner supporting and encouraging him he grew in confidence and really started getting into it. He wooed. He cooed. he whispered gentle sweet fishing nothings punctuated by pregnant pauses. God for a first timer this boy is good I thought. I was left feeling well, rather inadaquate. Why wasn't I that good when I did it for the first time? He was neither too long nor too short, a strong and solid performer. Like a swan: calm and self assured on top while down below pumping like fury. But all good things come to end and as he came to a gentle, climatic conclusion he quietly retired, spent and satisfied, safe in the knowledge of a job well done, that he could add his first notch to his headboard and wonder how he might develop his technique as surely there will be other assignations. 

For those who watched and listened we were appreciative of your efforts and for accepting our committee's invitation to lose your public speaking cherry and for sharing your thoughts and your experiences about fishing the River Kelvin.

Alistair, from a grateful audience, many thanks for being our guest speaker and contributing to a memorable night.  

Campsie Campers

1 comment:

  1. I assume that Chevrolet Captiva is now your new pride and joy? I can see why you’d go for it. She looks tough, and would survive many harsh weathers on the road. Too bad your Hyundai Tucson gave out unexpectedly. She’s a tough car too, and was able to serve you for so many years. I hope that Chevrolet will give you the same length of service. Have a nice day!

    Rhonda Burgess @ Bob Dunn Hyundai